So.. I'm drowning in Chinese, English, biology and psychology papers. As the title says, I'm studying for my exams. In 18 days I'll be a graduate and I'll go to a few parties and I'll have more time again.
I haven't really been outside the flat unless I've been at the school for an exam. I only see my mum and my sister these days. It gets lonely when you're studying all day and I'm sad and nervous most days. I know I have to get good marks or else I'll never go to university! So no pressure then!
As bad an excuse it is this really is the reason I haven't blogged in so long. I've been focusing on school and homework to get my marks up and I've been buried in papers just to prepare for my written exams. Four exams are over and I've 'only' got four to go now.
If I get out on the other side alive I'll blog more! I really promise!
Oh! And just to make this blog entry more cheerful: From June 15 it is legal for homosexuals to get married in a church in Denmark! How awesome is that?! Now the rest of the world just needs to realize that love is for EVERYONE! And that love knows not gender!
I'm such a bad blogger. I promised you that I would make an entry when my assignment was done - it's been done for a little over a week and I haven't blogged. For that I am sorry.
I actually don't have anything interesting on my mind at the moment. Well.. Except for school but I doubt you want to hear about that. I must admit though that I have this empty feeling at the moment. You know the feeling where you feel worthless, useless etc.? It's a feeling I get once in a while and I feel like hiding from the world - which I can't. You just have to face the world no matter how bad you feel about yourself.
I promise to you - and this time I will keep my promise - that when this feeling is gone and when I have some interesting thoughts to share with you I will.
I am so sorry that I have been active for so long. I will probably be it for a while longer as I am struggling with the last months of senior year, preparing for exams, homework and such.. At the moment I am actually writing an exam synopsis that is due this friday. I've only answered almost two questions out of five so I am pretty stressed. I promise I will blog more when all this is over.
I'm a senior in high school and now I have to make a huge decision. Should I go to university or should I do something else?
Until my first year in high school I thought university was for know-it-all's. Admitted I act like a know-it-all most of the time and I get pretty good grades. But when I all comes down to it, I'm not really that clever. But then I talked to a person and I realized that you don't have to be one of those really clever persons to go to university.
I don't know much about the Danish school system after the municipal primary and lower secondary school, because my parents only had the obligatory 10 years in school. After that they found a job and have worked ever since. Now.. You need an education to get a job. Well.. You can get some kind of job, but it's very hard without an education. And because my parent never went to high school or university I'm pretty much on my own when it comes to school. Of course my parents will come with some sort of advice, but their way of helping me is limited. My parents advice usually goes like this: "It's your life and you should do what you want to do, it is not our decision to make and we know you'll choose what's best for you. So choose what you feel is best for you and not everybody else." And sure it helps a little, but when you're as confused as I am it would be nice to have some help with it. Parents that could say: "If you choose this it'll be lots of reading and just sitting in a class room for five years, can you handle that? If not, then you shouldn't choose it."
I know my dream is to be a writer and I know I want to go to university and I also know what I should choose to push me toward my dream, but what I don't know is: Can it help me if I don't reach my dream? Can I get some kind of job if I don't succeed? Maybe I shouldn't ask or think about things like that now, but I'd like to know. I'd like to be reassured that I won't end up like my parents and they'll be proud of me because I did what they didn't. I'm afraid of what will happen me if I choose this and regret it once I'm done.
And even though it sound like I think about this all the time.. I actually don't. Which is my biggest reason to doubt my decision. I hear some of my classmates talk about how they're taking a year off to work and then study whatever they want and then work with this or that, or they talk about how much they're looking forward to university.. And I doubt myself. I don't really think about how much I want to go university or what I'm going to do after. This is why I sometimes think I should choose somethings else. Do I really want this as bad as I think I do when I don't think about it as much as everyone else does about what they've chosen? I know there's about 5 or 4 months until I have to decide, but I'm just confused and torn apart.. And I feel more confused and torn apart everyday.
I hope my sister will have an easier time in high school and after. She's at least got me to help her. Maybe she'll avoid some of the problems I've had through out high school and I'm having now. I know I'll be giving this process a lot of thought so I can help her, because for me the advice: "Do what you want! Choose whatever you want and don't think about possible jobs now" seems like a crappy advice to me. I know how hard my parents have it. How hard they work to get food on the table and how years of working crappy jobs are ruining them. I don't want to end up like that and I know that my parents don't want that either.
I'll stop my rant about my confusion now with a question for you readers, and I hope you'll answer it. What would your advice be? How would you help your sister/brother/friend/or whatever if they were confused about what to do?
I've written about it before. Appearance and beauty. And I'll do it again.
My sister is a 7th grader and of course a teenager. She has told me again and again how the guys in her class teases all the girls about their weight. Calling them 'thick' and 'fat'. Whether they say it for fun or are serious about it, it is a big problem. My sister came home yesterday and told me that one of the boys for the first time had called her fat, and that not long after the guy that said it to her had said it was 'just for fun' just a joke. both my sister and I are underweight, so there's no way she could be 'fat'.
This is what makes girls want to lose wight even though they don't need it. This is what destroys girls confidence about their body. Of course it is not the only factor but it is a big one. We live in a society where what people think of us is one of the things that concerns us the most. We want to fit in and we want people to like us. If we have to change a few things about ourselves then that's not a problem. This is why we all are so conscious about the way or body look.
My sister has tired to talk to her teachers about this, and to get them to talk to the class about what it does to a person when they are called fat. No matter what a person weigh it's a blow. It hurts and the thoughts may run down a dark path where it shouldn't be, and in the worst cases it can end as an eating disorder. This is why comments like those my sister and her friends experience should stop. It should be stopped before it gets worse. We can't live in a society where girls so young tries to starve themselves or exercises so much every day that they get so skinny that you can literally count every bone they have.
Parents needs to talk to their children about it, the teachers need to talk to the pupils about it and they need to look after the signs of it. We need to make people confident about the way they look without them being super skinny.
Firstly, I am sorry for my inactivity. I've been writing a big assignment for two weeks and right after I handed it in I had to go to my father's place. So I haven't had the time to blog and for that I am sorry. Secondly, this entry will be about a concert I went to before I started on my assignment and about what the money from the concert went to.
No, the picture is not from a Queen concert. Unfortunately. It is from the concert I went to the first of December. The band: Queen Machine, which is, as you can probably guess, a Queen cover band. I went with two of my friends and we had a ball! The Band is probably the closest you'll ever get to a Queen concert after Freddie Mercury's death - at least in Denmark, since I don't know any other cover band. The lead singer has copied Freddie Mercury's style, stage performance and even his way to sing. The show was just like it would've been if it had been Queen. It was the best concert I've ever been to, which probably isn't saying much, since I've only been to one before that. One thing is for sure though: I'm going to their next concert near me!
The concert was arranged by the band and the aids fond to make people aware of how you get AIDS and what needs to be done. Not only in finding a cure, but also in the way people look upon the one who has aids. The profit of the concert would go to the danish AIDS fond and the band would personally hand over the money to them. The profit was 300000 Danish kroner.
I didn't start this blog to tell you about my personal experiences, and you probably don't want to hear them either, so this is not what I am doing. This is just the main reason as to why this is a subject that you find here. After the concert which is now 27 days ago I've been thinking a lot about Aids and I've wanted to write about it in my blog. Freddie Mercury is one of my idols. And as you probably know he died of aids, which was the reason this band was working with the aids fond. AIDS is something we all should know about, but we should have our facts straight and not believe in all the stigma!
We all get 'the talk' when we're old enough, or that's at least how it should be. I remember when my mum had the talk with me. She told me about safe sex and all of those things. Of course it was awkward but it is a necessary thing. My mum told me about aids, and I don't think I understood everything at the time, but I knew I would be safe when I started having sex. It is my opinion that every mother or father should have this talk with their children and explain to them, that there can be risks when you don't protect yourself.
As mentioned we should have our facts straight, so if your reading this and thinking: 'Why's this girl even thinking about it? It's only a gay disease.' Then you clearly don't have your fact straight and I will tell you some things. First of all, this disease is not just for gays. It is something both heterosexuals and a homosexuals can get. Second of all, it starts as HIV. HIV is a virus that attacks the immune system. The virus place its own genetic material in some cells that are an important part of the immune system. By doing that the virus insures that it will be reproduced by these cells. The genetic material that the virus places in the cells will be a part of the cell, and the cell will therefor copy the virus as a part as its own in the new cells. This is they way that the virus spreads. As there comes more and more HIV infected cells there will be fewer and fewer cells that can protect and the immune system will be broken. This will make it easier for the person to become sick or be infected by infections.
These infections can lead to AIDS. AIDS is some specific infections and types of cancers, that especially people that are tested positive for HIV can get. These are not dangerous for people with a healthy immune system, but can be very serious for those with HIV.
The stigma is not about what AIDS is exactly though. The world is AIDS-phobic. What do I mean by that? We are afraid of AIDS and we fear the people who are affected by this disease. We should be afraid of the disease because it is so serious, but we should not be afraid of the people who are affected by it! The stigma is that these diseases transmits through hugging, kissing, drinking of the same cup or other social contact. This is not true. It transmits through unsafe sex, sharing needles, blood transfusions in countries where they don't check for these diseases and such.
Do not be afraid to talk to a person that is tested positive. They are just like you. You can hug them just as any other person. You can help them. Many are afraid to say that they have the disease, they don't even dare to tell their parents, if you show them kindness and treat them like you would any other person you could inspire other people to do the same, and they would gain the courage to talk about it. You could help make the world just a little better.
The first part of this interview with Lady Gaga is about AIDS if you read all of this please take a few more minutes and watch it.
I'm so sorry for not updating! I've been, and still are, quite busy with a very important assignment. I'm reading lots of books about Horror, vampires and Dracula. I'm starting to stress cause I'm behind on all my work. The assignment starts the 7 december and ends on the 21. When it is handed in and over with I promise that I will make a proper entry!
Back to work.
